Thoughts and Truth from the Impossible Life

Parenting

I think every parent, mom and dad, under ALL circumstances need to put the needs of their children first while they are growing up.

That is how it was intended by God.

Though I do mean needs, as in development and growth needs as well as love and financial needs.

What I see way too much of is giving into a child”s wants as the supposedly easiest way to pacify a child rather than actually being a parent.

My sons were given everything they needed to become good adult men. Their wants were not a big consideration (well, maybe at Christmas and birthdays) because I was raising them to be responsible adults and today they are because of this. No unwed babies, no drugs, no jail, college education for my eldest, good jobs, stable relationships, responsible members of society.

This is what it means to be a success as as a parent. (Not that some parents don’t do all in their power and the children still make poor or really bad choices, and that isn’t the parent’s fault.)

An icon illustrating a parent and child

 

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December 19, 2012 Posted by | Christianity / God, Daily Gospel, Family, Mormon Christianity, Societal / Cultural Issues | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

In USA we chose our destiny

In the USA, your economic status is NOT determined by the “class” you were born. It is up to each to take the opportunity and make something of it.

I am a success and no one helped me get there. I choose to over come my biological parents, to pursue that which I wanted to have for my life, not that which was foreordained by birth.

My son choose another path to improve upon what I had chosen and overcoming the limitations of  his birth mother. If I had not chosen more for myself, my children would have grown up dirt poor in the projects of Hartford.

If my son had not chosen more, he wouldn’t have accomplished all he has. I instilled a desire for more in him as his birthright, but he chose to make it a reality.  No one made him strive. He overcame on his own.

Granted, many are suffering due to many bad choices of their own AND the cradle to grave coddling of the government. A few years back, there was a pulling of all 5th graders in a major metropolitian area (Chicago I think) and fully 1/3 stated theoccupation of their parents (many times single mother homes) was welfare. They had NO idea that people are suppose to WORK to live and are not entitled to a monthly cash check and “food stamps”.

They ARE not sentenced to that life IF they chose not to have it.

September 18, 2012 Posted by | Politics/Government/Freedom, Societal / Cultural Issues | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How To Deal With A Difficult Mother In Law

anonymous illustration of Jesus healing Peter'...

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Question: “Dealing with a mother-in-law…how do I respond to the problem of a mother-in-law who is overbearing, controlling, and meddling?”

Answer: A mother-in-law who is demanding, controlling, and intrusive into the lives of her son/daughter and son/daughter-in-law is what the Bible calls a “busybody” (1 Timothy 5:13). The meaning of the Greek word that is translated “busybody” in the 1 Peter passage means, “a self appointed overseer in other men’s matters.” That describes what some mothers-in-law are engaged in, or at least accused of. This kind of behavior is annoying, very frustrating, and it is obviously contrary to God’s viewpoint.

Obviously, the dynamics in such a situation are frustrating. Some mothers-in-law do these things because no one else in the family has given them boundaries. Therefore, she becomes an overbearing “bully.” Perhaps she does not even realize how intrusive and controlling she is. To her it may just be “loving.” If that is the case, perhaps a heart to heart talk will clear the air. If she does understand what she is doing and does it on purpose even after she has been asked to stop, then there is nothing that you are going to be able to do to alter that. At any rate, it is not your place to stop your mother-in-law from her interfering; it is your spouse’s.

Regardless of which side of the family the interference comes from, it is an assault upon the sanctity of the marriage and violates the “leave and cleave” of God’s order for marriage (Genesis 2:23-24). A man and woman leave their birth families and begin a new family, and they are to love and protect each other. A husband who allows his mother to interfere with his marriage is not living up to the commandment given to husbands in Ephesians 5:25-33. The same can be said if it is the wife’s mother that is interfering. Boundaries need to be set and then held regardless of the “feelings” of one’s family. The reality is that people treat us the way we allow them to treat us. If we permit them to trample the sanctity of our family, then that is what they will do. No one, not even our extended family, has the right to invade the privacy of our home. So if your mother-in-law is interfering in your lives, your spouse is allowing it.

What can we do personally about a woman who acts in the way a meddling mother-in-law does? We can make a choice not to allow her to take away our peace of mind. We may not be able to change the way others behave, but how we respond to their behavior is our choice. We can allow the actions of other people to get to us, or we can choose to give it over to God and allow Him to use this to strengthen us spiritually. If our own response to this type of situation that fuels our frustration. Only we can stop wearing ourselves out emotionally by allowing a interfering mother-in-law’s actions to be the arbiter of our own peace. Her behavior is not our responsibility, our response is.

Your mother-in-law is going to continue to be the way she is until she makes a choice to stop, or her family makes it so uncomfortable for her that she must stop, or God stops her. I can understand that right now you are probably angry, frustrated and at the end of your emotional rope. However, this is not a problem that an outsider can solve for you. If this woman habitually behaves in this way, your spouse and family have facilitated this woman’s behavior by tolerating it.

You can be gracious to her, but you do not have to facilitate her. Treat her with respect and love, but do not allow your emotions to entangle you in frustration at what you see as her obnoxious behavior. The best way to disengage an enemy is to make them an ally. Do not respond in kind, but with a kind response. You may disarm her, or at the very least make her wonder what you are up to. The only thing you are responsible for is your own heart and your own motives.

You can continue to allow this woman to have power over you or you can choose to give her what she has not given you. What is that? Grace! You can give her the grace of forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32). It may not stop her interfering, but it will be a source of strength and peace for you to stand in (Ephesians 6:11-17). The only place to find true peace of heart is in a personal relationship with God through Christ. I pray you will deal with your own heart need and concentrate upon responding by resting in His peace.

October 28, 2011 Posted by | Christianity / God, In-Laws | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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